“I have no idea what I’m doing.”
In seminary, a couple good friends of mine worked alongside me as Assistants to the Webmaster of Bethany Seminary. This meant we worked on the seminary’s website and performed basic maintenance on the computer systems of the seminary. I know very little about computers or website maintenance and I still know very little. I can remember one work day, we sat a table filled with laptops needing to perform a variety of updates to the fleet and it occurred to us that we have no idea what most of these updates were doing to the machines. Somebody proclaimed, “I have no idea what I’m doing.” That statement really summed up my work-study position. Sometimes, we just need to let it be known that we don’t know what we are doing and we are making it up as we go.
At the end of this month, Audrey and I will become parents. I’ll tell you right now, I have little clue as to how to perform most of my parental responsibilities. I’ve never changed a diaper, fed a bottle, given a bath, or installed a car seat. I’m clueless.
My cluelessness has made me feel akin to the prophets we’ve been reading from for several weeks in our Bible Read-Through. These prophets have no idea what it will mean for them to fulfill this calling. Jeremiah hides a loincloth in rock; Ezekiel sees beasts with wheels and human faces; Isaiah wanders Israel without clothes for three years preaching. Did they have any idea what they were doing? Unlikely.
My hope is that like the prophets, I learn as I go and find genuine ways to live into this new role. My hope for all of us is that we might accept that which we do not know and choose to live into it with the guidance and promise of God. We’ll probably learn a few holy lessons along the way.
Editor’s note: Obviously, Pastor Tim’s article was written before Anita Claire arrived at 4:01 AM on December 25, 2018. Anita weighed five pounds, fourteen ounces, and was nineteen inches long.